A man was driving to work when he was pulled over.The cop walks up and says "You were doing 62 in a 55. Where are you in such a rush to, son?""On my way to work officer.""Well you must be pretty important to think you can speed in my town" says the officer as he begins to write a ticket."Oh, I am, sir." replies the man. "I'm senior asshole stretcher."The cop stops writing and looks at the man disgustedly. "Boy! What in the hell is an asshole stretcher?""Oh, we begin with your typical asshole" says the man showing the cop the side of his clenched fist "and we begin by lightly massaging and working the asshole" he says while rubbing his fingers on the side of his fist and gradually making a hole. "Eventually we can make any asshole easily a foot wide, but, the great ones we can get to five, maybe six feet!"The cop is now standing on the side of the road jaw agape until he finally musters up enough composure to stutter out "Wha- wha- what in the world would someone do with a six foot asshole?!?"The man calmly replies "Give him a badge and a radar gun."