2014. november 10., hétfő

A man buys a new Harley-Davidson

The salesman says to him as he's wheeling it out "It's a great bike but you really have to be careful with the chrome. Whenever it rains, you need to put Vaseline on it to keep the water off, otherwise it will rust". The man thanks him and rides off.Soon, his sexy new Harley gets him a sexy new girlfriend and after lots of sexy new girlfriend sex, she invites him to her house to meet her parents for dinner. They eat this delicious meal and, just as they're finishing, the man's girlfriend leans over and says "honey, we have a tradition in our house that the first person to speak after the meal has to do all the washing up".Now, the man hates washing up and there was a lot of it. So he resolves that it's not gonna be him. So they finish up and sit quietly. Times ticks on. The father is reading his paper. The mother is staring into space. And the man gets increasingly frustrated but he is certain. He is not going to do this washing up. Time ticks on some more. After an hour, the man can't take this. He has to do something.So he reaches over and starts fondling his girlfriends breast. Nothing. No reaction. After a few minutes of this, he snaps, picks her up, throws her on the table and starts fucking her like a madman. Still nothing. Dead silence. Dad still reading the paper. Mother staring into space.The man can't take this any more so he pushes his girlfriend onto the floor, pushes the mother onto the table, pulls her dress up and starts pounding away like a man possessed. Still nothing. No one says a word.He finishes up and sits back down, lost as to what he can do to end this horror. Suddenly, he hears a rumble of thunder and thinks "oh god, it's going to rain! The chrome on my bike!"So he whips out his tub of Vaseline, and the dad throws his paper down and says "oh for fucks sake, I'LL DO THE DAMN WASHING UP".